First off, WELCOME if you're a newcomer, or anoldcomer, recently returned; I appreciate everyone in this echo -- you're why I bother for as little as they pay me! YOU are worth it! (sure, that counts as my objoke inclusion for this post, if I want it to be it ;) )

Say hi, share your favourite joke, rated PG-14, where you're from,. & why that place is funny; maybe a funny childhood story from your own childhood or someone you were close to,growing up? Jump in, have fun; reply to any post you read in here, should you feel the urge -- nothing you see is private. Do include funny content n every post, though, please (we call that an Obligatory Joke(ObJoke for short), when you add in an extra bit of funny to make up for off-topic chat content)

Okay, enough intro, on to the main point(s) of this posting. . .

Rules, Regulations, & Guidelines for Fidonet's FUNNY Jokes and Stories echo

This file and the rules as per the Fido official echo description constitute our rules & regulations, binding on every user in this echo, by their participation (whether passive(reading) or active(posting); if this displeases you, you know the way you came in -- you may & should exit the same way & never return.

Echo purpose: to hear something repeated you've just said.

Note all are labeled #1 as they're all important --

#1: You must (re)read these every time you see them posted by myself or another moderator, addressed to "All"

#1: even if a rule, below, seems phrased humorously (even your mods try to stay on topic) it is a hard & fast rule, requiring your adherence

#1: Have fun or GTFO

#1: don't be a jackass; you're a guest in other people's home.

#1: every post must contain funny content (text)

#1: English(UK+CAN) is the natural language of the fully evolved human being, thus English is the echo's official language. American English is American & true English<TM> users may feel free to humorously(key) poke fun at Americanisms

#1: grammar & punctuation is probably important -- mis-use opens yourself up to funny or punny ridicule.

#1: leave the moderating to the moderator(s); you may not see it being done, but we work behind the scenes often. If you have a complaint, echomail or email your mods; do NOT post into the echo (unless you're following rule#1 of course,
& being funny)

#1: This echo is rated PG-16; i.e. content should not be overly shocking to the average 16 year old (boy or girl); no porn -- that's elsewhere in cyberspace

#1: NO ads for products, services, echos, pages, or ANYTHING, except as you've sent to the mod, with agreed upon payment, & the mod posts it for you, following all rules.

#1: NO auto-posting (bots); this echo is for humans; if you can fully understand these rules, you are likely human.

#1: the mods are not responsible for any damage to your connection devices (including modems & computer & monitor) perpetrated by a moderator's use of the Freister Device (detects your personal(not BBS, not your fido upline) source system & sends proprietary signals to cause your disks, CPU, mainboard, & modem to die ("fry" from Freister, the inventor, & my friend)

#1: You have been warned

#1 Swearing should be kept to a minimum -- & only as befits the joke/thread -- we're adults here & should act & talk like it. If you're mixing them in randomly like salt & pepper, you're too young to be in here.

#1: These rules should appear once a month, but regardless if you've seen or read them, you MUST follow all, or delist the echo &/or visit others (&/or make your own, even!)

#1: We only roast the ones we love

#1: The End (or is it?)

APPENDIX i:
Remember: Even if some jokes in here seem a bit "difficult" for you to enjoy, that humour is not universal; this echo is for everyone.

The most important thing is:

#1 Have fun
#1 Include a joke in every post/reply
#1 Keep it all PG-16

I've had some feedback that for a PG-14 there's not enough fart jokes and dick jokes; allow me to attempt to fix this with my ObJokes for this post:

FART(n): a cry for help from a turd in trouble
FART(n): an audio test of your waste disposal system
FART(v): how a turd whistles for the right of way

& here are 20 out of the over 250 known English slang terms for a fart:

1. Air Biscuit
2. Bottom Burp
3. and 4. Fartick and Fartkin
5. One-Cheek Squeak
6. Bafoon
7., 8., and 9. Cheeser, Cut the Cheese, and Squeeze Cheese 10. Breezer
11., 12., 13., and 14. Raspberry Tart, Hart and Dart, Horse and Cart, and DÆOyley Carte
15. and 16. Ringbark and Shoot a Bunny 17. Empty House Is Better Than a Bad Tenant 18. Trump
19. Foist
20. Fizzle

Hey do you like poutine?
"I guess?"
Poutine my dick in your mouth.

Q: What time is it when the big dick points to 12 and the little dick points to 6?
A: Dicks of Clock

DIAGHRAGM(n): a trampoline for dickheads
also a reasonable definition of a bitch slap given to a dude.

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? A: Because his pecker is on his head! Q: What do you get when you cross and owl and a rooster? A: A cock that stays up all night long. Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper! Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus! Q: What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? A: He smashed his his nose. Q: What happens when you make a penis out of Legos? A: You get COCK BLOCKed. Q: How many knees do men really have? A: 3.... right knee, left knee and their wee-knee. Q: What do you call a woman who loves small dicks? A: Hopefully your girlfriend. Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don't make me cum in there. Q: What do you call an endowed puppet? A: Well strung. Q: What do you call an erection when listening to hymns? A: an organ boner Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis? A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then. Q: What did the O say to the Q? A: "Dude, your dick's hanging out." Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a cock? A: The man. Q: How could the redneck mom tell that her daughter was on her period? A: She could taste the blood on her son's dick! Q: What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? A: Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. Q: How many parrots can you fit down a man's pants? A: Depends on the length of the perch. Q: Why do Justin Biebers male friends nickname him "Shotgun"? A: Give him a cock and he'll Blow! Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in! Had a fight with a erection, this morning. I BEAT IT SINGLE HANDEDLY. Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: a dicktator! Q: What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? A: A urination. Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker.

Read More: https://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/penisjokes.html

Se y'all another day -- I'm off to enjoy my weekend at Chez Pope!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)